Published by Rosileni Mansano on

“Whoever refuses to punish his son does not love him; whoever loves him does not hesitate to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24 NIV)

The reason
Disciplining our children is certainly not one of the easiest tasks. Much less pleasurable. Which parent has not yet stopped his or her little one giving the biggest hoot and holler in a public tantrum? Probably all parents have been through this; at least once or twice… And to the supreme embarrassment of the parents, the bigger the audience, the longer the heir’s show.

But what does the Word of God direct us to do? How does the Bible teach us to discipline our children? The verse quoted at the beginning of this article directs us to “chasten” our children. “He who loves his son does not hesitate to discipline him.” In Proverbs 29:15 the Word of God tells us, “The rod of correction gives wisdom, but a child left to himself puts his mother to shame.” Here the text tells us about ‘correcting’.
We must not encourage our children to engage in destructive or unfriendly behavior. Rebellious behavior must be corrected while the child is still small!

How to Punish?
However, the child must be punished with love! For the Bible also says: “He who loves”… And beloved, here I want to give a serious warning: Never, ever, punish a child when he is impatient or angry. It is the parents’ obligation to discipline their children. But always in love!

A slap on the buttocks once in a while will do no harm. On the contrary, sometimes a spanking can be a holy medicine! However, the Bible would not direct us to use the stick if it were not really necessary to use it from time to time. Some manners and temper tantrums are really intolerable. And if we allow the little ones to express themselves freely, we are not only embarrassing ourselves as parents. But we are also encouraging disrespectful behavior toward others in the little ones.

The other day I heard a pastor talking about the correction he had to give one of his sons. The boy had disrespected him and the father said that he would give him three slaps when they got home. When they arrived home, the father took the boy into the bedroom, talked to him, and explained the reason for the three slaps that he would give him.
After the correction, he knelt down with his son and prayed with him. He explained that he did not like to punish him, but it was necessary. And he guided the boy to ask God for forgiveness as well, for his disrespectful behavior towards his parents and the Lord. This is a good example of “chastening with love”.

In chapter 29, verse 17 of the book of Proverbs, it also says: “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; it will bring great pleasure to your soul. One of the great problems of our time is the lack of limits. Parents, often to compensate for long hours away from home, end up being too permissive. They give their children a freedom that they are not yet mature enough to have. And in their eagerness to please their children and compensate for certain flaws, many parents end up overdoing it with gifts, permissions, and lack of limits.

The Inheritance
Our children are the Lord’s inheritance. We will answer to God for our acts, actions or omissions as parents.
A child needs love, affection, warmth, acceptance and limits! But limits given by parents who are conscious of their Christian duty to educate and teach. Parents who “punish” with love and in love. Parents who understand that education is not based on shouting and physical violence, but through surrendering their own being to Jesus Christ.

Before “punishing” your child for rebellion… Pray and ask the Holy Spirit of God to reveal to you if this rebellion was not planted in the child’s heart by you… Sometimes the child is just copying a behavior. From the father, from the mother, or from both.

There is also the possibility that the child demonstrates certain rebellious behavior because of a lack of attention from his parents. They will do anything to get attention… they will fight, yell, kick… They don’t care if they get a spanking, as long as they are getting attention. This also serves as a warning. A child has its own ways of communicating its own needs. Be very careful not to stimulate aggressive behavior with more aggression. Sometimes, lapping and giving quality attention is all that the little one needs.

Don’t yell at your child. Don’t hit him verbally. Don’t hit physically. Your child is a small developing human being. Whenever you need to punish him, do it with love. And explain the reason for the punishment to the child. Pray before and after the “spanking”. Don’t give Satan any opportunity to plant hate in your child’s heart by giving him unnecessary spanking or yelling at him. Yes, discipline him. Firmly. But with love and in the Lord.

God bless your family!

Pastor Alexandre and wife Pastor Rosileni Mansano

“Family, a project of God”!


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