Parents and Children in the Pandemic

Published by Rosileni Mansano on

Parents and Children in the Pandemic

We are living in times of distress, not only worldwide, but inside our homes as well. Homes are being threatened by an invisible enemy, which is called “Lack of Peace”.

Due to Covid-19, we have faced many changes… Children have started to study at home, and no longer go to school (as they have been for centuries in our country). People who used to work in companies are now doing their work inside the house as well. Others have been laid off and are having to reinvent their profession.

And in the midst of world chaos, tension, and a dark scenario, there are thousands of families that needed, overnight, to review their way of living and coexisting.

I want to bring for our reflection, a family that had everything to go wrong, to collapse… But was able to manage and get around a tense situation, which could have been extremely stressful and disastrous for everyone.

The family for this reflection is found in the Gospel of Luke Chapter 2, verses 41-52. Joseph, Mary and Jesus went to the Passover Feast, as they did every year. But Jesus stayed behind. He decided to stay in the Temple, talking to the doctors and questioning them. He was 12 years old at the time, so he was a pre-teen.

Joseph and Mary, when they realized that Jesus was not accompanying them back home, decided to return to Jerusalem. They searched for three days, until they finally found him in the Temple.

Here I want to address some aspects of this family.

When the couple realized that their son was not with them, they could have started fighting, arguing, accusing and blaming each other. The situation was tense, and surely many couples in such circumstances would have gotten into friction. But Joseph and Mary came together to go in search of their son. This is certainly an impressive issue!
When a couple manages to come together in the face of a tense situation, we have two adults, acting like adults! Full, healed and aware. But unfortunately this would not be the attitude of many couples! The vast majority would possibly separate right there, in Jerusalem.

Many couples have separated during the pandemic. Many families have not withstood the strain! The new model that has been installed, of greater family coexistence, is proving in many aspects how fragile it is and how unprepared we are to really “live together” with each other in the home! Joseph and Mary knew how to manage that moment. They were able to manage their emotions (I will talk more about this in the next post). They succeeded where most couples probably would not. If you are married, give some thought to how you would act in this circumstance…

When the parents finally meet Jesus in the Temple, Mary says, “Son, why have you done thus toward us? Behold, your father and I were anxiously looking for you.” Three questions arise here:
A – Mary “asks” Jesus the reason. I believe that many fathers would come knocking, many mothers would surely come screaming and setting up the biggest scandal, but Mary calmly asks her son the reason why he has separated from them.

Many parents do not have the patience to talk to their children! They treat them like objects or pets. They give them a house and food and that’s it! They don’t know how to talk, don’t ask questions, and even less listen to what their children have to say! They think that providing for them is enough. Relationships involve listening. It involves dialog. We need to talk to our children! Ask, talk, interact. How do you evaluate yourself? Are you a father who knows how to listen? A mother who knows how to talk and welcome?

B – Mary makes it clear to Jesus that both Joseph and she were looking for Jesus. There was no breakup. There was no one “pulling the strings for their own roast” both of them, together for the same purpose. What is the purpose of your family? Do you have a purpose as a family? What is your purpose? Let me give you some examples:

  • To form a family that is united and loving.
  • To be a family that loves each other and loves other people.
  • To be a family that serves God and follows His principles.
  • To form a family that loves each other, talks to each other, is united, and has fun together.

Finally, what is the purpose of your family? What do you, father and mother, want to build? Do you realize that you are leaving a legacy for future generations? And that it’s not just about fulfilling obligations, but memories are being built and lives influenced by your behavior! “Your behavior!”

C – Mary pointed out to Jesus that Joseph and she were anxious looking for Him. (In the next post I will address this issue in more depth: Anxiety and how to manage it).

For now, I’ll end here, otherwise the post will be too long… I leave for your reflection the communication and complicity of the couple, the purpose of your family and the importance of dialogue with your children.

God Bless You!




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